He sent me this through Facebook:)

Here are 7 common mistakes women make with men, according to Armstrong:

Mistake #1: Seeing men as misbehaving women.
Women take everything personally, Armstrong says. When a man doesn’t do what we want, we think he doesn’t love us, care about us or respect us.

“Otherwise he wouldn’t be misbehaving.”

But men are more forgiving than women. “They allow for mystery with women and find it fascinating.”

Mistake #2: Reading into his words.
Take men literally. If he says he’s busy Saturday night, it means he’s busy Saturday night, Armstrong says.

“It doesn’t mean he’s tired of you, bored of you or wants to break up with you.”

Mistake #3: Expecting his time to be yours.
When he becomes your boyfriend, you expect him to sync up with your daily planner.

The problem?

“He doesn’t see it that way. Men have whole lives. They don’t consider they owe you all their time,” married or not, she says.

Men owe you their best effort to make you happy, and to love and respect you, Armstrong says. But expecting him to cater to you makes you appear “domineering, bitchy, disrespectful and disempowering.”

Mistake #4: Interrupting when he’s speaking.
You’ve asked your man an important question. He starts to answer and you butt in.

“That’s how women mistakenly end up thinking men are shallow,” Armstrong says.

When interrupted, a man will just stop talking.

Instead, listen to what he says. When he’s finished, listen some more. That’s when the best nuggets often emerge.

Mistake #5: Thinking a man can multitask.
Women are biologically designed to multitask, says Armstrong.

“We watch TV and knit a sweater; we drive and plan our day; we’re on the phone while checking email.”

Men don’t. Why? Because they’re hunters, Armstrong explains. They have to be single-focused to keep their eye on the target.

Mistake #6: Believing a man is ignoring you.
You’ve probably accused your guy of ignoring you while he’s driving or watching TV. He really isn’t. He just can’t do two things at once.

If he’s watching TV or dressing, “He’s just watching TV, just getting dressed,” Armstrong says. “We think he’s doing something and ignoring us because we can do that.”

No wonder most women feel abandoned!

“We keep our attention on [men], and we feel upset when their attention is not on us,” Armstrong says.

So next time your man’s ”hunter” kicks in – and you’re feeling disconnected – take a deep breath and remember: He’s wired differently; it’s not personal.

Mistake #7: Competing with a man’s mission.
“I’ve trained my daughters not to hit dad up about anything” until we’re on the freeway, Armstrong says. “It’s all about getting the mission on track.”

Same thing goes when a man is immersed in a new business venture and less available.

“All his energy is going into this thing that he’s sure is going to provide for his family,” Armstrong says.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking he’d make more time for you if he cared more. It’s not about you. And forcing him to pay attention “will be excruciating for him,” Armstrong says.

But relationships are not a one-way street. Men need to understand women too.

In her coed workshop Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery, Armstrong gives men the tools to change their interactions with women.

It’s healing for both sexes.

“Women sit in the course with tears running down their faces when they find out they’re not alone,” Armstrong says.

Women are “frog farmers”: They unwittingly turn princes – good guys – into “frogs” by trying to change them, says Armstrong, who has spent decades studying men and how women relate to them.

Her conclusion: You can’t change men, and once women accept their fundamental nature, their relationships can improve.

“We don’t need to disempower men; we have enough power of our own,” Armstrong says. “That’s what’s really cool. Men love strong, competent women. It’s the ‘What-do-I-need-you-for?’ attitude women often cop – that keeps men at a distance.”

*I'm just smiling throughout my reading. You know why? Because I found the truth from this note. Well, I just have to admit me as a girl, I always feel insecure and doubt in relationship. But without him who always bring me back to the right track, I don't know what will happen to our relationship now. Maybe we no longer together. That's why I always say that he is the best man in my life ever. Nobody could replaced him in me. No words from me can completely expressed my feelings of having him beside me:)


4.30pm
18/3/2012